


Kiss FM

by sarken



Category: Real News RPF
Genre: Blue Collar Challenge, FNFF OT, Gen, Morning Zoo Radio
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-28
Updated: 2009-05-28
Packaged: 2017-10-09 22:56:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/92496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarken/pseuds/sarken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Keith and Rachel use their morning radio program to figure out how she spent her long weekend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss FM

She sneaks into the studio while Keith has "Blame It" playing. He looks up and glares at her but doesn't say a word even as she takes her seat next to him and adjusts her mic.

As the song ends and he switches his mic back on, he says, "And speaking of blaming it on the a-a-alcohol, Rachel has finally decided to grace us with her presence, and, boy, does she ever look like hell. Nice of you to join us here on this Monday morning, Rach. Late night?"

She stares blankly at him, and there are a few moments of dead air before he gestures for her to say something and she breaks out of her stupor.

"More like a long weekend. I haven't seen my apartment since Friday," she manages, wincing at the sound of her own voice. She thinks for a second. "Wait -- Thursday. We had Friday off, didn't we?"

Keith laughs and gets ready to put on the next song. "All right, if any of you happen to know what Rachel did with her weekend, give us a call here at the studio and maybe we can piece something together for her. This is Beyoncé with 'Single Ladies' -- and I'm assuming Rachel is still one of those, but who knows? Stick around to find out here on 95.7 Kiss FM."

When the song comes on, Rachel knocks her headphones off and drops her head onto the nearest flat surface. "Ow."

"Have you slept?" Keith asks. Then he sniffs the air. "Never mind that -- have you _showered_?"

Rachel groans. "I think I'm still drunk. It's Monday?"

"It's Monday."

"Fuck. I hate Monday."

"What the hell did you do all weekend?" he asks.

Rachel lifts her head up and looks at him. "I was really hoping those listener calls would help with that. I think there was alcohol."

"You don't say."

"I have vague memories of some sort of fundraiser at a bar where I was mixing drinks and then...nothing until now. This is not normal."

"That was Thursday," Keith says. "We were doing that together, until you disappeared. How do you forget seventy-two hours?"

Rachel sighs. "And they were probably the best seventy-two hours of my life, too. I think there might have been a girl." She rubs her temples. "Maybe three. No more than four."

Keith scribbles something on a piece of paper before he looks up. "You realize that works out to one every eighteen hours, right?"

"I'd say something really lascivious right now," Rachel says, turning on the microphone and slipping into her radio voice, "but we're back on 95.7 Kiss on this Monday morning. Keith and Rachel keeping you company here on your morning drive, and it looks like we've got some prizes to give away to anyone who can explain exactly where I was and what I was doing all weekend."

"So if you think you saw Rachel dancing on the bar at Julia's -- "

"Or if you tasted one of Keith's vile drinks at the fundraiser -- "

"-- be the ninth caller, spin us a good yarn, and we'll hook you up with some swag, plus a chance to win this week's grand prize, a pair of tickets to go see Fallout Boy in a couple of weeks. For now, here's the latest from Shinedown."

Their mics off, Rachel turns to Keith. "Dancing on the bar?"

Keith shrugs. "I'd pay money to see it. Probably slip it right in your -- "

"There's this thing called a sexual harassment lawsuit, Olbermann."

"I was going to say 'bank account.'"

"Uh-huh."

"I was."

"Weren't you just telling me I smell?"

"Like a brothel."

"And yet you're hitting on me."

"What can I say? Not all of us spent our weekends with unknown numbers of women."

"It can, from time to time, be good to be me," Rachel says, smiling smugly and sitting back in her chair, arms crossed over her chest. After a moment, a look of panic crosses her face. "Oh, my God, what if they call in?"

Keith bursts out laughing.


End file.
